Who am I?
by Intergalactic Chocochip Cookie
Summary: About Alice waking up to her new life as a vampire, learning about herself. She's alone, and understands nothing. She has a vision of Jasper and about the Cullens. also, she hunts...


**Who am I?**

By Michelle López

I see him. I know that if I reach him I'll be safe. He's standing there, smiling at me. I have to be with him. I hold out my hand and he comes. Our fingers are about to touch, and when they do, everything goes black.

Then I open my eyes. I'm in a wood –or so I think-, and it's dawn. I look around trying to find him, but I can only see trees and clouds, though some birds are already coming out. I'm lying on the grass, so I gain strenght and stand up. Who am I? I don't remember anything but my vision of _him_, I don't know where I am, or why, I don't even know my name. While I try to think a sunbeam filters through the branches, right over my face. When I raise my hand to shield my eyes I see something that leaves me breathless.

Is the skin supposed to glitter under the sun? Mine reflects the light as if it were a diamond, projecting a thousand colours. I examine my hands, arms, my bare feet. It all sparkles and I'm pretty sure it isn't normal. _What _am I? And now I perceive something I have no idea how I had ignored before. My throat is dry, and it hurts. Gradually the pain increases, it feels like having a flame right inside me. It's not long before the fire in my throat becomes the only thing I can think of. Its intensity reminds me of a recent sensation, like a burning. I wish I knew what I'm talking about.

I start wandering around and find a brook. Instinctively I approach it and drink, but the moment I do I regret it, for it tastes horrible, turns my stomach, and makes the flame hotter if possible.

A gentle breeze blows and I freeze. The sweetest, most delicious smell wraps me, and my throat threatens to explode. I lose all my control, nothing matters but that smell, so I turn around and start running like crazy, chasing it. Running is wonderful, the wind against my face, plus a sensation of undescribeable freedom makes me feel I'm flying. It's like I was born to run, like it's part of my nature.

Finally, I find the source of my smell- a young woman, pretty and well-dressed. She takes off her sunglasses and looks at me. I see her expression turning form surprise to curiosity, and then to horror. She takes a step back and runs away from me.

"No! Wait!" I go after her, maybe she can help me, tell me where we are. Besides, her smell is too irresistible... apetizing. I don't know what I'm doing, I'd swear this time I _do _fly, because I get to her in a fraction of second. I catch her by the wrist but, by accident, I scratch her. Her eyes are filled with terror, and I do want to say something reassuring, make clear I mean no harm, but then I see the tiny thread of blood and everything else disappears. I can _see _my smell. Mindlessly, I put my lips to the wound.

The blood fills my mouth and when it gets to my throat I know this _is _right- the relief is wonderful. The more I drink, the more I need. But what I succionate is not enough. I know I shouldn't do this, but I sink my teeth on the flesh, and frankly, when the stream of blood gushes into my mouth I don't really care about right and wrong.

Eventually my lips become dry again. I come to my mind and only then I realize I have killed. I do regret it, believe me, but the need was overpowering. Right now what intrigues me the most is why I provoked such fear in this woman. I need to know what I look like. Then I notice her handbag is on the floor, its contents spilled. There is a mirror, small, but at least I can see my face, and that's what I do.

Ok, got it. This time I'm really sure normal eyes are not crimson. Their colour is as bright as the liquid I've just drunk. Maybe there's a relation between both things. Now, the rest of my face. Wow. Don't think I'm shallow, but if you don't count the eyes I'm the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My hair is short, dark, and shining, my skin is pale, almost transparent, smooth and soft. My features are delicate, and my lips are red and full.

I run a hand over my hair, which feels silky. I go down to my shoulders, and then to my breasts. They are round, full, and in contrast, my waist is small and fine. I don't know what beauty standards are considered around here, but I think I'm not so far away from them. I notice what I'm wearing- a horrible, long, white dress. Down to my toes, long-sleeved, wide... not my type. I look at the woman's clothes, I don't really like them, either, but anything is better than this awful white cloth.

While I change I begin hearing voices in my head. They are not very clear, the only thing I can understand is a name: _Alice. _Again and again, the voices repeat it. You know what? I think that Alice is actually myself. What a pretty name; I will take it anyway.

The clothes fit, at least, and it's good she had sunglasses, I need to hide my eyes. I might have to wait till nightfall, because my skin will draw attention. Hm, I think I'll soon have to drink again. And after that I'll start looking for _him- _my vision, my future, my safe harbor, my... love.

Just as I'm about to go everything disappears. What I see now is completely different: a big house, it has a wall of glass and looks warm, cozy. There are two couples, one formed by a beautiful woman, young but with a maternal expression, she has kind eyes and her hair is the colour of caramel. Her mate is a blond man, extremely handsome, too; they look like the authorities there.

Then there is a blond girl, perhaps prettier than I am, she looks proud, has an air of elegance and dignity, she's young but already a lady. She's accompanied by an enormous boy, bear-like. He's muscular, strong, but has the sweetest eyes and a fresh, lovely smile. Next I see a boy laughing; he looks the happiest, has an air of deep simplicity that makes me like him instantly. Actually, he's holding my hand, and repeats: "Alice, Alice, Alice." Understood, that's me.

The sun touches them and I see their skin glitters just like mine, only their eyes are different- brown, ocher, far kinder, less scary than my cherry red ones. I feel something around my waist, it's _his _arm. I see _his _smile again and I know he is like me, like the rest.

Again it all vanishes and I come back to the wood. Now I know. My future is with them, I must find my love, my family. For the first time, I know who I am.


End file.
